I'm coming home this Christmas break. That's it, I thought about it. I made my choice as of right now. Unless some huge miracle happens that convinces me to stay longer, I won't be here.
Yea it's Europe. And it's Bakersfield. That obviously won't be changing unless the rapture happens. I'm only a junior once in American high school where I can do what juniors get to do.
Europe will be here always, as long as I work and get money the option of going back is not a big deal. Especially since now I have friends all over the place here. I've already had enough experiences to last me a long long time. In college it's way easier to do exchange programs anyways, and I have friends who want to get an apartment and student visa, or just travel. So I have the friends, I can get the money, Europe isn't running away. It's obvious I'll be coming back.
High school only happens once, and my mom still talks about all her high school experiences, and I know a bunch of other adults who talk about their experiences as some of their best. I'll have already been in Holland for months, that's more than most of the people I'll meet in my school and throughout my life. As a junior, I get to do things that I've waited the past two years of high to do. There are people that are going to college that I won't be able to see again in high school. I don't want to miss that. This year I'll have the perfect mix of exchange and being who I want to be with my friends in a place I know. Oh and I really don't like high school here. I understand so little, they hardly do anything fun, and the people just irritate me sometimes. I just want my friends and the fun back.
My mom kept saying all these negative things about Bakersfield. I know that obviously, that's why I left in the first place. But like they say, you never know what you have until it's gone. I'm feeling that now. I'm still a teenager and there's things I need and want. I'm strong, but not for a whole year. I'd rather come home and regret leaving than regret not coming home. Because I can always come back.
Since so many people don't want me to come home in the winter I now don't feel welcomed home. I know everyone loves me, but I've formed my programs that now if I come home people will think that I'm not strong enough, or that I gave up. I feel like I will fail them and disappoint them. That's enough to make me want to come home right now. I hate disappointed people, but I hate the idea of staying five more months even more. I know that there will be some people who will be thrilled to see me come back, so that gives me more incentive.
As a side note. So much stupid shit has happened to me since I've been here. The first week until present something has been wrong. Unless that changes soon, I will not be fully happy here. I've been sick, had my things stolen or broken, and had to spend so much money on things I shouldn't have had to. So much has happened, and I just throw on my happy face and try to get over it. But getting hit with this stuff over and over and over is wearing me down. Trying to handle it all overseas just makes it even worse.
So please, I was raised not to listen to peer pressure, so I'm not going to now. I'm homesick now and all the comments and messages about me staying longer just make me more homesick, sad, and irritated.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
So I have the option of staying in Holland for an extra 5 months until summer holidays. The choice is completely mine, so I have to choose. At the moment I feel like I am closer to just coming home sooner than staying. I sorta made a list to look at and think about.
Coming home:
I get to be a junior for at least a little bit.
Prom.
A great guy.
My friends.
Family.
I can actually understand school.
No more cold.
I can start working earlier to save up for more world trips.
I will have better health.
I have more people to talk to about things I like.
Sweats to school.!
Staying in Holland:
I'll learn the language fluently.
More trips around Europe.
More over all experience.
Carnaval.
Once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sure there's more reasons for both choices, but those are the ones that I think of most at the moment. I suppose I have just gotten so used to the idea of coming home in January, that it's weird to think of possibly staying so much longer. I've already thought of what I want to do when I get home. And if i stay here I would have to change homes, schools, villages, and all that. At this point I'm not completely comfortable with the organization in charge of me, so that also worries me a bit. This all seems like I'm pretty biased on coming home. I just don't know if I could handle the extra time. I wish it was easier to make a choice, and adapt. But then again, I've been pretty homesick this past week, so that might be affecting my choice. I'll give it more time. For now though, I think I'm almost set on coming home....
Time will tell.
Coming home:
I get to be a junior for at least a little bit.
Prom.
A great guy.
My friends.
Family.
I can actually understand school.
No more cold.
I can start working earlier to save up for more world trips.
I will have better health.
I have more people to talk to about things I like.
Sweats to school.!
Staying in Holland:
I'll learn the language fluently.
More trips around Europe.
More over all experience.
Carnaval.
Once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sure there's more reasons for both choices, but those are the ones that I think of most at the moment. I suppose I have just gotten so used to the idea of coming home in January, that it's weird to think of possibly staying so much longer. I've already thought of what I want to do when I get home. And if i stay here I would have to change homes, schools, villages, and all that. At this point I'm not completely comfortable with the organization in charge of me, so that also worries me a bit. This all seems like I'm pretty biased on coming home. I just don't know if I could handle the extra time. I wish it was easier to make a choice, and adapt. But then again, I've been pretty homesick this past week, so that might be affecting my choice. I'll give it more time. For now though, I think I'm almost set on coming home....
Time will tell.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Rants.
So far I've posted only the good, happy, wonderful things about Holland. There's tons of them, don't get me wrong. But I want this to be an honest blog, where you can feel everything I feel through reading this. that being said, I will have some posts explaining my crappy parts, such as homesickness, trouble, sickness bla bla bla.
Up until this point things have been great. Tons of stupid shit has happened, like my unending sicknesses, all my Apple stuff breaking or stolen, having to spend money that normally I wouldn't. Just little things that all end up to a point that most would freak out. Since I'm here it's a lot harder to deal with everything, but I've been in a state where I have just been ignoring it the best that I can. After a while it gets tiring. Sometimes I really just want to go home, or cry, or something. It sucks, I really want to be happy here and enjoy everything, but it gets hard when I have to deal with so many unnecessary misfortunes. This is pretty much just a small rant about the bad side of it all, there it probably be more, but I was just feeling emotional tonight.
As a side note, if you can't handle things I post, or don't agree ect...Don't read it, or just don't complain to me. Thanks sooo much.
Doei! XXX
Up until this point things have been great. Tons of stupid shit has happened, like my unending sicknesses, all my Apple stuff breaking or stolen, having to spend money that normally I wouldn't. Just little things that all end up to a point that most would freak out. Since I'm here it's a lot harder to deal with everything, but I've been in a state where I have just been ignoring it the best that I can. After a while it gets tiring. Sometimes I really just want to go home, or cry, or something. It sucks, I really want to be happy here and enjoy everything, but it gets hard when I have to deal with so many unnecessary misfortunes. This is pretty much just a small rant about the bad side of it all, there it probably be more, but I was just feeling emotional tonight.
As a side note, if you can't handle things I post, or don't agree ect...Don't read it, or just don't complain to me. Thanks sooo much.
Doei! XXX
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Paris
Just for now my blogs aren't going to be in order, but I'll still get better at keeping everyone updated.
So for the beginning of my trip I had to navigate the train system alone, and I was very terrified! But I asked some people for help and everything turned out being just perfect. Then we had the seven hour bus ride to Paris. I got to see friends I made at camp, so that was really fun and the ride wasn't all that bad. Once we got to France, the traffic was horrid so we just skipped the planned boat tour and went to the hotel. To be perfectly honest, it was the most boring night ever. The hotel was in a very secluded location with only a restaurant and a bar. Soooo that being sad, that night wasn't the funnest.
The next morning we all loaded back onto the bus for a tour of all the main monuments, streets, bla bla. Now i know we've all seen movies and heard things about Paris, but nothing can compare to actually being there. It's magical. All the buildings are so old and so so beautiful. The streets are huge, just watching people drive is scary and interesting, there's almost no limit, just go when you can. It was such a surreal, amazing moment. Anyways, so we spent a few hours driving around listening to the tour guide, learning everything he had to tell us about the city. We had a few minutes at some places to step out and take pictures and get a better look. We stopped at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier beneath the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre Palace, Eiffel tower, and the Pace de la Concord. They were all just breathtaking and amazing. At the Eiffel tower however, something pretty unique and crazy happened. We were all just taking pictures being all touristy, when some lady came up to us with a stack of cardboard cards with pictures of men and women on them. They were there as a part of a revolution. The men and women on the cards were people in Venezuela who were put into jail because of their different views on the government. So then she asked us all to hold one of the cards in front of our face and then follow her into a group as she talked to created a video. It was pretty cool, until the police came. They were trying to talk to her, and she was super frantic, our coordinators were freaking out, it was a mess. But in the end, she gave us some candy and as far I know she still has her video. That was pretty insane and interesting. After that we had some free time to shop and do what we wanted. First some of us all ate together, the best pizza I have ever had. After that we spent hours looking for one store, never found it. Gave up and went back to the bus. We then went on the boat tour on the Seine river. It was beautiful, the bridges all had amazing carvings, we passed some of the monuments we had seen earlier, so it was nice to see them from a different point of view. The boat itself was gorgeous, with vines, flowers and old lamposts with all glass ceiling. It felt very good after walking for so long. After that we went to eat dinner with some of our friends. Of course we had to eat snails, we were in France after all. It was horrible and I hated it, but Katie loved it sooo... Then we had some very pasta and completely pissed off the French waiter and had to run back to the bus. That night we all just hung out with each other, talked about our homes here in Holland and what we have all done. It was a fantastic day over all.
The next day we went off again on the bus to the Eiffel tower, this time we were going to go up. We waited for an hour in cold cold cold, but I had the best croissant with chocolate creme ever. After waiting forever, we finally went up to the second floor. It was amazing, I know I've said that about a lot of things so far, but really. Paris is very white, with a golden monument sticking up here and there. We took a ton of pictures, looked at all we could, and had a good time. After that we had free time so we all went to eat again and a cute little French cafe. The food was yummy, but I think it made me sick because the rest of the middag(afternoon) my stomach was hurting. We walked around, shopped, got some of the touristy gifts for people at home. The street just went on and on with antique books, posters, and other little knick knacks. I bought an old Doors poster since I didn't get to see his grave. ): I would just have those moments when I would look around at the large streets, the trees, parks, and the people think of how surreal and amazing the moment was. I was in Paris, walking with people from all over the world, just enjoying it all. Nothing will be able to compare to that feeling. After that we ended up getting lost and I was sick, so we had to hurry to the bus without me throwing up. We took the metro, which wasn't the best part of Paris, but you still saw some very interesting things... There are people everywhere with Eiffel tower trinkets for sale at very cheap prices, but it's illegal. So the police will come to arrest them, and suddenly they all run to the metro, jumping over the gates. Heaps and heaps of them would come out of no where and just hide everywhere. It was just so odd, I had never seen anything like that before. We finally made it back, and went off to the next stop. We then went to the Sacre Coeur church. In the street there was a parade of music, dancers, and people in costumes just going through the city. There was some sort of festival, but I never heard of what it was exactly. To get to the church we had to climb up tons of stairs just to get there, but once we did, the best night of my life began. We saw the steps to the church, long and wide, covered in people everywhere. Just sitting, drinking, smoking, dancing, singing and talking all together. So of course we all found a spot and started to join in. We met a man who had come from Africa to play music, so he started playing for us, we shared some of our food and drinks with him. We soon were all singing with him, some of the boys were playing and singing with him and everyone was up dancing. We had Russians, French, Brazilians, all sorts of people dancing and having a good time with us. Now the situation was amazing, but if you took a second to look around, it got even better. One direction you could see a beautiful church and tons of wonderful people, then you turn around and you could see all of Paris. The most beautiful view, almost as good as the Eiffel tower. It was such an amazing and unique experience I did not want to ever leave that place. We finally did though, and we went back to the bus and back to the hotel. Nothing really special happened, we went to dinner at the Hippopotamus cafe and had some deep fried yumminess. Since everyone was either missing or asleep Katie and I decided to go to sleep, and this is where the whole weekend is amazing ruined.
We were in a room with another girl, we asked if she was sleeping there tonight, and she said yes. So what we had been doing all the time we were in hotel was to keep the door open. From the outside the door looked like it was close, but if you pushed on it, it would open completely. Katie and I fell asleep around 12, and at 2 one of our friends were knocking on our door to ask us something. The girl wasn't in bed at this point. Since we had both fallen asleep we wanted to know the time, I asked Katie to check my phone when we said it wasn't on the charger. I had remembered setting the alarm and plugging in my phone, so I was positive it was there. We both jumped up and started checking all of our stuff. My iPhone was definitely gone, all of Katie's euros were taken out of her wallet and her credit cards moved around. Her dutch phone was taken, and so was mine. As far as we know nothing else was taken. For the person to get all of those items, they would have had to walk across the entire room, around my bed and past Katie to unplug and search everything. Things were scattered all over the floor, moved and touch, but not taken. Thankfully our passports were not taken. If they had wanted to, they could have hurt us. So we have to be thankful for our safety. After I realized what had happened, I went running around the hotel like crazy. I asked the other students who were awake if they saw anything, then I went to the concierge, but of course he didn't speak good english and was no help at all. There was a computer to use, but you had to pay for it, so I used that for only 10 minutes, the only coins I had. At that point I was crying and had given up. But, a Russian couple noticed my distress and asked what happened, I tried to explain in simple english. They offered me 50 euro and change, but I said all I wanted was to talk to my mother. The man then went off and got his Ipad for me to call my mother. He was seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met. After I let my mother know what was going on, he said they would stay up with me and cheer me up. So he started talking about how stupid George Bush is, and about all the other silly people. He showed me his friends, his travels, some french and Russian music. It was actually a really nice time to just relax and laugh rather than freak out about what was going on. We stayed with him for a while and then went back to sleep at around 330. In the morning we told our coordinators what had happened, they reported it to the front desk, then the police. Katie and I had to go to the police station to file a report to look for the guy to get our stuff. Sandrina was very nice and translated all of the French for us, so I'm very thankful for her. I will always be creeped out about some random person seeing me asleep, seeing my pictures, reading my notes, and pretty much knowing my entire life, and I'll probably never meet him. Oh well, after that we rode the bus back home and we all ended our trip safely.
Paris was amazing despite the creepy ending. I love it so so so much, and I will be back before I die.
So for the beginning of my trip I had to navigate the train system alone, and I was very terrified! But I asked some people for help and everything turned out being just perfect. Then we had the seven hour bus ride to Paris. I got to see friends I made at camp, so that was really fun and the ride wasn't all that bad. Once we got to France, the traffic was horrid so we just skipped the planned boat tour and went to the hotel. To be perfectly honest, it was the most boring night ever. The hotel was in a very secluded location with only a restaurant and a bar. Soooo that being sad, that night wasn't the funnest.
The next morning we all loaded back onto the bus for a tour of all the main monuments, streets, bla bla. Now i know we've all seen movies and heard things about Paris, but nothing can compare to actually being there. It's magical. All the buildings are so old and so so beautiful. The streets are huge, just watching people drive is scary and interesting, there's almost no limit, just go when you can. It was such a surreal, amazing moment. Anyways, so we spent a few hours driving around listening to the tour guide, learning everything he had to tell us about the city. We had a few minutes at some places to step out and take pictures and get a better look. We stopped at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier beneath the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre Palace, Eiffel tower, and the Pace de la Concord. They were all just breathtaking and amazing. At the Eiffel tower however, something pretty unique and crazy happened. We were all just taking pictures being all touristy, when some lady came up to us with a stack of cardboard cards with pictures of men and women on them. They were there as a part of a revolution. The men and women on the cards were people in Venezuela who were put into jail because of their different views on the government. So then she asked us all to hold one of the cards in front of our face and then follow her into a group as she talked to created a video. It was pretty cool, until the police came. They were trying to talk to her, and she was super frantic, our coordinators were freaking out, it was a mess. But in the end, she gave us some candy and as far I know she still has her video. That was pretty insane and interesting. After that we had some free time to shop and do what we wanted. First some of us all ate together, the best pizza I have ever had. After that we spent hours looking for one store, never found it. Gave up and went back to the bus. We then went on the boat tour on the Seine river. It was beautiful, the bridges all had amazing carvings, we passed some of the monuments we had seen earlier, so it was nice to see them from a different point of view. The boat itself was gorgeous, with vines, flowers and old lamposts with all glass ceiling. It felt very good after walking for so long. After that we went to eat dinner with some of our friends. Of course we had to eat snails, we were in France after all. It was horrible and I hated it, but Katie loved it sooo... Then we had some very pasta and completely pissed off the French waiter and had to run back to the bus. That night we all just hung out with each other, talked about our homes here in Holland and what we have all done. It was a fantastic day over all.
The next day we went off again on the bus to the Eiffel tower, this time we were going to go up. We waited for an hour in cold cold cold, but I had the best croissant with chocolate creme ever. After waiting forever, we finally went up to the second floor. It was amazing, I know I've said that about a lot of things so far, but really. Paris is very white, with a golden monument sticking up here and there. We took a ton of pictures, looked at all we could, and had a good time. After that we had free time so we all went to eat again and a cute little French cafe. The food was yummy, but I think it made me sick because the rest of the middag(afternoon) my stomach was hurting. We walked around, shopped, got some of the touristy gifts for people at home. The street just went on and on with antique books, posters, and other little knick knacks. I bought an old Doors poster since I didn't get to see his grave. ): I would just have those moments when I would look around at the large streets, the trees, parks, and the people think of how surreal and amazing the moment was. I was in Paris, walking with people from all over the world, just enjoying it all. Nothing will be able to compare to that feeling. After that we ended up getting lost and I was sick, so we had to hurry to the bus without me throwing up. We took the metro, which wasn't the best part of Paris, but you still saw some very interesting things... There are people everywhere with Eiffel tower trinkets for sale at very cheap prices, but it's illegal. So the police will come to arrest them, and suddenly they all run to the metro, jumping over the gates. Heaps and heaps of them would come out of no where and just hide everywhere. It was just so odd, I had never seen anything like that before. We finally made it back, and went off to the next stop. We then went to the Sacre Coeur church. In the street there was a parade of music, dancers, and people in costumes just going through the city. There was some sort of festival, but I never heard of what it was exactly. To get to the church we had to climb up tons of stairs just to get there, but once we did, the best night of my life began. We saw the steps to the church, long and wide, covered in people everywhere. Just sitting, drinking, smoking, dancing, singing and talking all together. So of course we all found a spot and started to join in. We met a man who had come from Africa to play music, so he started playing for us, we shared some of our food and drinks with him. We soon were all singing with him, some of the boys were playing and singing with him and everyone was up dancing. We had Russians, French, Brazilians, all sorts of people dancing and having a good time with us. Now the situation was amazing, but if you took a second to look around, it got even better. One direction you could see a beautiful church and tons of wonderful people, then you turn around and you could see all of Paris. The most beautiful view, almost as good as the Eiffel tower. It was such an amazing and unique experience I did not want to ever leave that place. We finally did though, and we went back to the bus and back to the hotel. Nothing really special happened, we went to dinner at the Hippopotamus cafe and had some deep fried yumminess. Since everyone was either missing or asleep Katie and I decided to go to sleep, and this is where the whole weekend is amazing ruined.
We were in a room with another girl, we asked if she was sleeping there tonight, and she said yes. So what we had been doing all the time we were in hotel was to keep the door open. From the outside the door looked like it was close, but if you pushed on it, it would open completely. Katie and I fell asleep around 12, and at 2 one of our friends were knocking on our door to ask us something. The girl wasn't in bed at this point. Since we had both fallen asleep we wanted to know the time, I asked Katie to check my phone when we said it wasn't on the charger. I had remembered setting the alarm and plugging in my phone, so I was positive it was there. We both jumped up and started checking all of our stuff. My iPhone was definitely gone, all of Katie's euros were taken out of her wallet and her credit cards moved around. Her dutch phone was taken, and so was mine. As far as we know nothing else was taken. For the person to get all of those items, they would have had to walk across the entire room, around my bed and past Katie to unplug and search everything. Things were scattered all over the floor, moved and touch, but not taken. Thankfully our passports were not taken. If they had wanted to, they could have hurt us. So we have to be thankful for our safety. After I realized what had happened, I went running around the hotel like crazy. I asked the other students who were awake if they saw anything, then I went to the concierge, but of course he didn't speak good english and was no help at all. There was a computer to use, but you had to pay for it, so I used that for only 10 minutes, the only coins I had. At that point I was crying and had given up. But, a Russian couple noticed my distress and asked what happened, I tried to explain in simple english. They offered me 50 euro and change, but I said all I wanted was to talk to my mother. The man then went off and got his Ipad for me to call my mother. He was seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met. After I let my mother know what was going on, he said they would stay up with me and cheer me up. So he started talking about how stupid George Bush is, and about all the other silly people. He showed me his friends, his travels, some french and Russian music. It was actually a really nice time to just relax and laugh rather than freak out about what was going on. We stayed with him for a while and then went back to sleep at around 330. In the morning we told our coordinators what had happened, they reported it to the front desk, then the police. Katie and I had to go to the police station to file a report to look for the guy to get our stuff. Sandrina was very nice and translated all of the French for us, so I'm very thankful for her. I will always be creeped out about some random person seeing me asleep, seeing my pictures, reading my notes, and pretty much knowing my entire life, and I'll probably never meet him. Oh well, after that we rode the bus back home and we all ended our trip safely.
Paris was amazing despite the creepy ending. I love it so so so much, and I will be back before I die.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Belgium Camp.
So school went on pretty much the same. Nothing too exciting. Then we had a school camp off in Belgium. It was only a 3 day camp, but all of it was packed full of things the entire day. Most schools have this sort of event; their purpose is for the students to get to know each other better and become comfortable with them. I talked a lot to some of my teachers, as well as got a lot closer to some students. It was very interesting to see the student/teacher relationship. The students mostly led the way on most of the events, while teachers also did each and every one along with. That was a difference I noticed, because most at home the teachers would just take complete leadership and leave little to the students, or just instruct and not participate at all. I appreciated the way this school worked in those means. Every student also had their own responsibilities and were expected to achieve them without any guidance or checking up. So far, I really enjoyed the way everything was being run and operating.
First off, we just took the bus 3 hours into Belgium to a drop off point. We then set off on a 7 hour hike across the fields, through villages, past tons of animals and corn, to finally arrive at the camp location. It was all so so beautiful, things that you would see on tourist post cards. While it was long and after a while painful, I really did enjoy it. One of my favorite moments would have to be when we passed a farm and saw two little Belgium boys, one around 2 and the other maybe 4. They were just watching with wide interested eyes, asking us questions, all in French. I promise you that a french accent is 100% cuter when there is a child speaking it to you. Then we left as they followed and yelled "au revoir!" It was so precious, almost worth walking for so long, just for that. Once we all arrived everyone was dead tired, ready to sleep for years. The location had a beautiful river running alongside it with a little beach, and a high pretty bridge across. The building seemed to be an older fashion, it sort of reminded me of a castle, although others disagreed. Maybe it's just my worldly ignorance. There were tables, a field, a BBQ, and playground areas, all in a surrounded by a circle of forests and mountains. Being from Bakersfield, I can tell you that the stars are not the best sight, if they even come out for you. The sky I saw from the window in our room and by the bonfire was magical. Endless, more than I have ever seen before. There was only one person I wanted with me at that moment. Only some of you will know who ;)
The next day we went to a site where we would do a bunch of activities in our groups. The first was a zipline from the edge of the mountain down to the base. First we had to climb all the way up the mountain and wait on the edge. The sight was so so pretty, especially when you jump off and practically fly down to it all. It was one of my favorite zipline experiences. After that we went mountain biking. I was getting used to the Dutch bikes, these were completely different, and sort of scary. We were only our for an hour, but it felt like so much longer. We went through the village for a bit, then started in the forests. I made a very failed attempt at going over the large bike jumps, but it was still fun. Then we were going down mountain sides at speeds I never thought I could go on a bike. I thought I was going to die half the time. Only wiped out once, and not that badly. It was fun, but scary at the same time. From the combination of the hike and biking, my legs were jelly. So I was almost jumping with joy when I heard that the next activity was kayaking. I love kayaking, and my legs could rest. I did a double with my friend Sam, we started last, but in the end finished as one of the first. The river was very shallow and we got caught so many times, but it was all good still. Some of the guys could catch other and flip or dunk them, it was quite funny. We stayed safe though! It was so nice to just float and look at the beautiful country side. At one point we were only a few inches from a cow taking a drink. By the time that was over everyone was tired at every part on their body. So we all went back, took a shower and rested for a bit. In Holland, at camps it is tradition to have a BBQ on the last night. Sooooo, we had one too. They ordered me my own veggie plate, and I made everyone try a piece, not their favorite. I talked to my mum for a bit, then went to sleep early. I don't know how the Dutch go on with such busy days with such little sleep.
The next day we went back to the same area. First we scaled down the side of a mountain. I loved that. You just had to let yourself go over the edge and walk down horizontally. It was so fun, the view again, was amazing. Next we went on a climb across the edge of the cliffs. We had to go up, down, over rocks, with lizards and all that. Half the time I thought I'd fall to my death again, but then I relaxed and pretty much ran across the side ha. Then we went in a cave. Not a big nice cave where a bear could live. No, it was hardly big enough for us to squeeze through, huge spiders everywhere, and it was wet. You would have to slide in between rock fixtures, go up into the dark, somehow manage to fit your helmet through the crevices. It was probably the worst place for anyone with claustrophobia to be. At the end they told a 'scary story' which of course I couldn't understand. The climb back up was so much worse, climbing up what we slid down. At the end we lost the group, so we have to make a choice at a fork in the cave. Luckily I was right and I saw light and started freaking out. It was a looonngg time in the dark. After that we did a sort of ropes course in the trees. First it was just some thick wires you would walk across, then it became random. One was a bunch of hanging ladders, a mini zipline, tree trunks, stepping pieces, long boards. That was one of my favorites too, especially to see my teacher doing it all as well. We were finally done with everything and ready to go home. I tried to sleep, but I suffered horrible from homesickness. But it went away, thankfully. Then I was back home, sore, tired and hungry. Those are the moments I thank God that Nel is such a fantastic cook.
First off, we just took the bus 3 hours into Belgium to a drop off point. We then set off on a 7 hour hike across the fields, through villages, past tons of animals and corn, to finally arrive at the camp location. It was all so so beautiful, things that you would see on tourist post cards. While it was long and after a while painful, I really did enjoy it. One of my favorite moments would have to be when we passed a farm and saw two little Belgium boys, one around 2 and the other maybe 4. They were just watching with wide interested eyes, asking us questions, all in French. I promise you that a french accent is 100% cuter when there is a child speaking it to you. Then we left as they followed and yelled "au revoir!" It was so precious, almost worth walking for so long, just for that. Once we all arrived everyone was dead tired, ready to sleep for years. The location had a beautiful river running alongside it with a little beach, and a high pretty bridge across. The building seemed to be an older fashion, it sort of reminded me of a castle, although others disagreed. Maybe it's just my worldly ignorance. There were tables, a field, a BBQ, and playground areas, all in a surrounded by a circle of forests and mountains. Being from Bakersfield, I can tell you that the stars are not the best sight, if they even come out for you. The sky I saw from the window in our room and by the bonfire was magical. Endless, more than I have ever seen before. There was only one person I wanted with me at that moment. Only some of you will know who ;)
The next day we went to a site where we would do a bunch of activities in our groups. The first was a zipline from the edge of the mountain down to the base. First we had to climb all the way up the mountain and wait on the edge. The sight was so so pretty, especially when you jump off and practically fly down to it all. It was one of my favorite zipline experiences. After that we went mountain biking. I was getting used to the Dutch bikes, these were completely different, and sort of scary. We were only our for an hour, but it felt like so much longer. We went through the village for a bit, then started in the forests. I made a very failed attempt at going over the large bike jumps, but it was still fun. Then we were going down mountain sides at speeds I never thought I could go on a bike. I thought I was going to die half the time. Only wiped out once, and not that badly. It was fun, but scary at the same time. From the combination of the hike and biking, my legs were jelly. So I was almost jumping with joy when I heard that the next activity was kayaking. I love kayaking, and my legs could rest. I did a double with my friend Sam, we started last, but in the end finished as one of the first. The river was very shallow and we got caught so many times, but it was all good still. Some of the guys could catch other and flip or dunk them, it was quite funny. We stayed safe though! It was so nice to just float and look at the beautiful country side. At one point we were only a few inches from a cow taking a drink. By the time that was over everyone was tired at every part on their body. So we all went back, took a shower and rested for a bit. In Holland, at camps it is tradition to have a BBQ on the last night. Sooooo, we had one too. They ordered me my own veggie plate, and I made everyone try a piece, not their favorite. I talked to my mum for a bit, then went to sleep early. I don't know how the Dutch go on with such busy days with such little sleep.
The next day we went back to the same area. First we scaled down the side of a mountain. I loved that. You just had to let yourself go over the edge and walk down horizontally. It was so fun, the view again, was amazing. Next we went on a climb across the edge of the cliffs. We had to go up, down, over rocks, with lizards and all that. Half the time I thought I'd fall to my death again, but then I relaxed and pretty much ran across the side ha. Then we went in a cave. Not a big nice cave where a bear could live. No, it was hardly big enough for us to squeeze through, huge spiders everywhere, and it was wet. You would have to slide in between rock fixtures, go up into the dark, somehow manage to fit your helmet through the crevices. It was probably the worst place for anyone with claustrophobia to be. At the end they told a 'scary story' which of course I couldn't understand. The climb back up was so much worse, climbing up what we slid down. At the end we lost the group, so we have to make a choice at a fork in the cave. Luckily I was right and I saw light and started freaking out. It was a looonngg time in the dark. After that we did a sort of ropes course in the trees. First it was just some thick wires you would walk across, then it became random. One was a bunch of hanging ladders, a mini zipline, tree trunks, stepping pieces, long boards. That was one of my favorites too, especially to see my teacher doing it all as well. We were finally done with everything and ready to go home. I tried to sleep, but I suffered horrible from homesickness. But it went away, thankfully. Then I was back home, sore, tired and hungry. Those are the moments I thank God that Nel is such a fantastic cook.
And a month later....
So to start off, Ill explain my tardiness with the blog updates.
At school I had four free hours, so I thought it's be a good idea to take my computer to blog and whatnot. On the way home Holland decided to throw both my Mac, and my Iphone on the ground. Therefore breaking them both. So I had to drop off my Mac for a while to get it repaired. Now it's home and happy. Maud and I have decided to name him Klaas.
So now I have tons and tons to write about, so I think that I will split them up into events that have taken place since September 6th.
Everything has been fantastic, lovely, and so much fun. The only issues I seem to be having are minor sicknesses, wounds, and my broken belongings. The most important thing though is that I'm experiencing tons of things I never would have thought of. I am so grateful to everyone who encouraged me and helped me get here.
And now I'll fill you in on the past weeks.
At school I had four free hours, so I thought it's be a good idea to take my computer to blog and whatnot. On the way home Holland decided to throw both my Mac, and my Iphone on the ground. Therefore breaking them both. So I had to drop off my Mac for a while to get it repaired. Now it's home and happy. Maud and I have decided to name him Klaas.
So now I have tons and tons to write about, so I think that I will split them up into events that have taken place since September 6th.
Everything has been fantastic, lovely, and so much fun. The only issues I seem to be having are minor sicknesses, wounds, and my broken belongings. The most important thing though is that I'm experiencing tons of things I never would have thought of. I am so grateful to everyone who encouraged me and helped me get here.
And now I'll fill you in on the past weeks.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
First Week of School. (Short and Sweet)
I made it so far a little over a week in Holland, now it was time for the real challenge, what would be taking up the majority of my time here, high school. From the first day I saw so many differences I wasn’t quite sure what to think. But before that, riding the damn bike to school everyday is crazy. It’s only thirty minutes, but against wind and rain it gets hard. My legs have been sore every day, but I’m hoping to get in good shape from it all, ha. The first thing I saw in the schoolwas just how high tech and modern the school was. The walls were covered in beautiful art, I’m not sure if they were of the students, or bought. Either way it was very pretty, which just that is a lot more than from home. It had a round design so that the smoking area was in the center, with a tiger lily pond, benches, and a garden. The whole school was decorated very nicely with more paintings, posters, and just nicer all around. They had auto window shutters, simple classrooms, and everything always seemed very tidy.
I also noticed all the fashion differences. The biggest one I have made a huge deal about is the guys, they ALL have gel in their hair. I haven’t seen so much gel in my life. Almost every boy does it, and it drives me crazy. They also wear a lot more V-necks, jewelry, and boots. Most of all that I’m not used to from home. As for the girls, they come to school a lot more dressed up than what I am used to. Some wear heels, business jackets, tights, dresses, lot’s of jewelry, and skinny jeans. I haven’t seen those so in style since junior high. So I go to school with my Toms, bootleg jeans, and a plan grey shirt and get all these weird looks. Thankfully I brought some of my old debate clothes, so I wore those and fit in a lot better, I almost feel like I need to buy completely new clothes. After riding my bike for a half hour I feel like a mess, I don’t understand how some girls look perfect after coming to school, it’s crazy to me. Oh, the girls also all have purses as bags, I have seen almost no real backpacks, and it’s very odd.
One thing as far as social means that I have noticed is that in the hallways and cafeteria the genders are completely separated. Boys stay with boys, and girls with girls, there are mixes but it’s rare. At home it was not like that at all, so that’s been different. In the class people are more about their own work, the teacher is more of a guide just offering help if you need it. I haven’t been able to understand most of the lessons, but I’m getting a bit better. One class that I thought was hilarious was English class. Of course the language is English, but when my teacher started talking in a British/English accent, I started laughing out loud. For some reason I expected an American accent, but I was surprised. He even said ‘smashing’ once, it was hilarious. When I was asked to read, I read way to fast and the whole class freaked out, it was pretty cool. I was told that my voice was beautiful. If teacher’s are sick, they just don’t show up, instead of getting subs. There’s a lot of free periods, so students are always walking around or doing study. The whole feel is just very different and more independent.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
First Official Week!
So the first day of my ‘official’ exchange had finally come. After getting so used to all the new friends I had made and had become comfortable with, it was time to leave, once again to start life in a place where I didn’t know a single person. As I was waiting with Brennan for my family, we watched everyone else run up to their new parents and siblings, hugging and handshaking. Each time another person found theirs, I became more and more anxious, Brennan even said I was making him nervous. And then in the distance, I saw the family coming towards us all. I wasn’t sure if I should pretend to not see them, or just run up to them. I sat down, caught my breath, and walked up to them. I had the biggest smile on my face the entire time, even though you could feel the massive awkwardness. After getting our picture taken we went to get a coffee and tea, to just talk about things. They were very nice; we were all excited and a bit unsure of what to do. Things got easier and more relaxed as more and more time passed. Then we separated again for Travel Active to explain some things to the families. After lunch I said my sad goodbyes to new friends and loaded everything up go to…home.
In the car we found that we both liked Regina Spektor, which they thought was hilarious since hardly anyone knew who she was there. We found we also liked other similar music, so that was at least a bit comforting. Then we got to the house, a farm house, and it was beautiful! After bringing all my stuff in, they took me on a tour. The backyard is a massive garden, with perfectly trimmed bushes, all sorts of different flowers and trees, lot’s of Nel’s clay sculptors, and Henry’s wooden carvings. The backyard felt like a dreamland, or Wonderland, it was so so pretty. Instead of a farm though, Henry had his business in the ‘barn’ or where it used to be. They cut down trees, removed, move ect. His workers come there in the mornings where he and Nel also work from the office. The house was just as gorgeous as the yard. It was a very old house, which is what they wanted. So they kept the classical aspects and added to it to make it their own creation. It’s very big and decorated with the clay and wooden creations. They have a room where they spend the summer holidays, and also a winter room for the colder times. A beautiful library that looks like places I have only seen in movies. The upstairs seems smaller, but that only has the bedrooms, and the large bathroom for showers and getting ready. The other bathroom is very unique and old fashioned, it’s very strange at first to see.
So as time went on I learned about typical Dutch culture. In the morning there is always bread with many different topping choices. The one thing that I found very very different, and is also very very Dutch is Hagel Slag Puur, which is basically chocolate sprinkles. They eat this almost every day,but I was used to seeing it used only on cakes and treats at home. So every morning is bread, with tea(thee), coffee(koffie) or chocolate milk(chocolade melk). While we eat breakfast we also make lunch for the day, which the same choices, bread and toppings. Then at night there is always a big, hot meal followed by typical Dutch dessert, like pudding. So far every meal has been fantastic and delicious! I really do enjoy the way meals are, because I always know what to expect and I never go anywhere without being full, Nel always insists that I take more more more. I feel like dinner is the time everyone comes together and talks about their day, it’s very nice and not what I am exactly used to, but I am enjoying it very much. Either it’s because I speak English, or the culture, but always feel that everyone is very intent on listening to me, so that’s very nice. I just wish I could speak Dutch fluently already!
After dinner we usually go to the summer room to spend the rest of the night together. So far I’ve seen very very funny Dutch versions of shows that I know from home. Jersey Shore, So You Think You Can Dance, Dating in the Dark, and others are just a few of the ones I’ve seen. Every night we always have tea with some kind of yummy cookie, the best one yet is Stroopwafel I’m definitely bringing a ton of those home. The days typically go the same every day, so that good to know what’s going on.
Every once in a while there’s a party, gathering or something else. The first night I went to a birthday party, and the next night a going away party. The birthday party was very odd, first of all it started at 9, then when I got there the boys and girls were almost completely separated. They had tables set up and only boys were with boys, and girls with girls. There was wine and beer everywhere, most of the guys were smoking cigs, and the mom was coming in and out with no problems. It was just very odd because at home if teens want to do that, they have to hide it. It was just so accepted here. Most of the music was in English, or other languages, hardly any Dutch music. Not any dancing, just drinking, smoking and talking with your own gender. Very different. The second party was more just family and friends, but still there were people smoking and drinking wine like no big deal. That was a little bit better because I talked to some more girls, but once again the genders were separated. I hope that I’ll be going to more parties soon, and get more used to everything that’s different.
So that was just the weekend, I’ll talk more about school and traveling in the next one. (:
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
First Week in Holland's Orientation Camp.
So I've made it safely to Holland, as of right now I am sitting here with my host family watching So You Think You Can Dance, Holland version. So I guess I should start from the moment I got on the plane until this moment.
I met up with Austin, who also is an exchange student, at the airport and we went through customs and found everyone together. The plane ride was nothing special, slept, watched some movies, watched the sun set and rise. Then we landed in Amsterdam and everything started. Someone said 'tot ziens', which means goodbye, to me for the first time, so that made it very very real. The airport was massive, with Dutch everywhere, including the wooden shoes and tulips! There we met up with other students from Thailand, Brasil, Japan, and Australia. Then we all rode a bus for an hour and a half out to the camp where we would be staying for the week. We had all thought we were going to be staying in the city, where everything was happening. Unfortunately that was not the case and we had to stay at a camp, with teepees and cabins. So we all had to get to know each other there without much to do, and without our laptops. My new good friend Katie from Australia and I watched the Brasilians play 'football', soccer, and they weren't bad to look at, haha. We all just hung out and explored until the Belgiums came later in the day. After which we all started talking, or trying to talk, to each other. The Belgiums hardly knew English, so I had to learn to talk very very slowly and carefully. The Brasilians spoke very very good English, although when they wanted to piss us off they would talk very fast Portugese, so that was frustrating.
It was such an amazing thing to be in a room and hearing four different languages going on all at once. Very crazy and interesting, I enjoyed that part very much. Then we started to learn more of the Dutch culture we were going to have to live with. The first thing we found was that the Dutch eat a lot of bread, brood. For breakfast they had bread with cheese, kaas, jam, sprinkles ect. For lunch it was the same, bread with meat and more kaas, cheese. So that was very boring and repetitive, but we had to get used to that. Then at night there was always a bigger, hot meal, the only one of the day. So that's how most families go about their meals for the day. Every morning after breakfast we would have to take three hours of Dutch lessons with Stijn just covering the basics. He was a very very funny man, his accent was the best and he had such a strange sense of humor. All the adults were very very nice and trusting, I felt as if they feel we have a more understanding of what is good and bad and that most choices were up to us. So they hardly checked on us to see if we were in the right place or sleeping ect. So of course everyone stayed up too late talking, hooking up, doing whatever they wanted. So that was fun to just get to know each other. One night we were all out dancing and walking under the stars, which are so so so beautiful, and it was just good fun.
Tuesday we got to go to a cow milking farm and ostrich farm to just check it out and see how the robots milk, and they live. That was pretty interesting, the birds were so scary, I would turn around and one would be right there in my face. The bus we took was an open wagon sort of thing, so we stood in the back and watched the beautiful landscape. On Wednesday we went to the Holland Open Air Museum where we got to see Holland in the past to future. They had a walk through old time village with wax statues explaining how the family lived and survived. We saw lots of windmills, animals, and straw roofs. We also got to try some of the beer made there at the factory, it was bitter, but interesting. On Thursday we went on a bike ride to get used to riding to town. The bikes here have a key that locks the tire, it's very interesting and I have never seen that before. The bikes are also more designed for use and not just style. The town was just filled with people on bikes everywhere, it was crazy, I had never seen that many bikes all at once! These little villages are pretty much their malls, all the main stores in the same area. Some were American, most were obviously Dutch, and I even found a fair trade store. So we spent the day there and it was very fun. The last day we had short lessons and we all just hung out. It was Carol's birthday, so we had a party and everyone sang to her in their own language, it was very interesting. That night we had so much fun I think, we just did whatever we wanted as late as we wanted, it was so fun.
And then the day came, Saturday. We were to meet our new families.....
I met up with Austin, who also is an exchange student, at the airport and we went through customs and found everyone together. The plane ride was nothing special, slept, watched some movies, watched the sun set and rise. Then we landed in Amsterdam and everything started. Someone said 'tot ziens', which means goodbye, to me for the first time, so that made it very very real. The airport was massive, with Dutch everywhere, including the wooden shoes and tulips! There we met up with other students from Thailand, Brasil, Japan, and Australia. Then we all rode a bus for an hour and a half out to the camp where we would be staying for the week. We had all thought we were going to be staying in the city, where everything was happening. Unfortunately that was not the case and we had to stay at a camp, with teepees and cabins. So we all had to get to know each other there without much to do, and without our laptops. My new good friend Katie from Australia and I watched the Brasilians play 'football', soccer, and they weren't bad to look at, haha. We all just hung out and explored until the Belgiums came later in the day. After which we all started talking, or trying to talk, to each other. The Belgiums hardly knew English, so I had to learn to talk very very slowly and carefully. The Brasilians spoke very very good English, although when they wanted to piss us off they would talk very fast Portugese, so that was frustrating.
It was such an amazing thing to be in a room and hearing four different languages going on all at once. Very crazy and interesting, I enjoyed that part very much. Then we started to learn more of the Dutch culture we were going to have to live with. The first thing we found was that the Dutch eat a lot of bread, brood. For breakfast they had bread with cheese, kaas, jam, sprinkles ect. For lunch it was the same, bread with meat and more kaas, cheese. So that was very boring and repetitive, but we had to get used to that. Then at night there was always a bigger, hot meal, the only one of the day. So that's how most families go about their meals for the day. Every morning after breakfast we would have to take three hours of Dutch lessons with Stijn just covering the basics. He was a very very funny man, his accent was the best and he had such a strange sense of humor. All the adults were very very nice and trusting, I felt as if they feel we have a more understanding of what is good and bad and that most choices were up to us. So they hardly checked on us to see if we were in the right place or sleeping ect. So of course everyone stayed up too late talking, hooking up, doing whatever they wanted. So that was fun to just get to know each other. One night we were all out dancing and walking under the stars, which are so so so beautiful, and it was just good fun.
Tuesday we got to go to a cow milking farm and ostrich farm to just check it out and see how the robots milk, and they live. That was pretty interesting, the birds were so scary, I would turn around and one would be right there in my face. The bus we took was an open wagon sort of thing, so we stood in the back and watched the beautiful landscape. On Wednesday we went to the Holland Open Air Museum where we got to see Holland in the past to future. They had a walk through old time village with wax statues explaining how the family lived and survived. We saw lots of windmills, animals, and straw roofs. We also got to try some of the beer made there at the factory, it was bitter, but interesting. On Thursday we went on a bike ride to get used to riding to town. The bikes here have a key that locks the tire, it's very interesting and I have never seen that before. The bikes are also more designed for use and not just style. The town was just filled with people on bikes everywhere, it was crazy, I had never seen that many bikes all at once! These little villages are pretty much their malls, all the main stores in the same area. Some were American, most were obviously Dutch, and I even found a fair trade store. So we spent the day there and it was very fun. The last day we had short lessons and we all just hung out. It was Carol's birthday, so we had a party and everyone sang to her in their own language, it was very interesting. That night we had so much fun I think, we just did whatever we wanted as late as we wanted, it was so fun.
And then the day came, Saturday. We were to meet our new families.....
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Stary Eyes, at night.
The stary eyes lived a life of genuine enjoyment, laughter, dancing, singing, pleasuring. They lived in beat with nature. It never hurt them, only encouraged their existence. Every night the trees would mold together into a cone, and the fireflies would ignite themselves on the wood, from the tops of trees and leaves. The fire was a loud, colorful, musical substance. It whistled, sparkled, and contained much power and peace. It would shower down on the stary eyes from every angle. As soon as the magical flames would hit the skins, scales, fur of any being, it would transform into a delicious, cool nectar. The purest, sweetest drink in all the universe. The creatures would stick out their tongues, or cup their hands while dancing to obtain tas much as they could. The cone would grow and grow until it funneled and released the fireflies. And every being could rest and be at peace. A tranquil slumber full of dreams. They knew of no other way of life.
Ganesh in Chicago/DC
We're packing for the last time!
Last night!
It's finally here! My last night in America for five months. It's so crazy, my bags are still a mess and everything is everywhere as I'm trying to repack.
Chicago was fun, I got to see some old friends, and realize how much I didn't enjoy the humidity. As well as meet new Outlaw friends, which is always a pleasure. I almost feel as though I'm growing out of Chicago sometimes, I want to re experience it in a way that isn't just looking back, rather creating something new. Perhaps someday. Shout out to my best friends, Carlye Arden for always letting me stay, no matter how odd I become each time I visit. Also to Jake for being a total badass with his band and actually going somewhere, I'm so proud!
So now I'm in DC, where the final part of my cross country adventure closes. More Outlaws Mike and Amy showed me around the city. The White House, and all those things Americans like. It was pretty cool, but I have to say my favorite part were seeing the protesters and listening to their reasons for doing what they do. If only you could see the people with power doing the same thing, out in public. Ah well. I also met up with another student going to Holland, Austin, he was really nice and I felt quite comfortable around him, so now I'm a bit more relaxed about everything.
So the Netherlands! I fly out of DC at 530 their time, 230 for my west coast lovers. If you want to call, skype, or text me, do it before then! Once we get there we're all staying at a hostel together. It's sort of like a hotel, just with no luxuries, at all. There we get to do some tourism stuff to get it out of our systems, get to know each other, learn the rules/laws, get over jetlag, and just chill for a bit. I won't have my laptop with me while I'm in Amsterdam, so I won't be posting to contacting for that week. After that week, my family comes and picks me up, we go home, and life starts! It's so so close, and I'm just sort of living in a dream land of undecided emotions. I love everyone who has supported me, who loves me, and who have spent time listening to me. I appreciate you all! Until next time, geode reis!
Chicago was fun, I got to see some old friends, and realize how much I didn't enjoy the humidity. As well as meet new Outlaw friends, which is always a pleasure. I almost feel as though I'm growing out of Chicago sometimes, I want to re experience it in a way that isn't just looking back, rather creating something new. Perhaps someday. Shout out to my best friends, Carlye Arden for always letting me stay, no matter how odd I become each time I visit. Also to Jake for being a total badass with his band and actually going somewhere, I'm so proud!
So now I'm in DC, where the final part of my cross country adventure closes. More Outlaws Mike and Amy showed me around the city. The White House, and all those things Americans like. It was pretty cool, but I have to say my favorite part were seeing the protesters and listening to their reasons for doing what they do. If only you could see the people with power doing the same thing, out in public. Ah well. I also met up with another student going to Holland, Austin, he was really nice and I felt quite comfortable around him, so now I'm a bit more relaxed about everything.
So the Netherlands! I fly out of DC at 530 their time, 230 for my west coast lovers. If you want to call, skype, or text me, do it before then! Once we get there we're all staying at a hostel together. It's sort of like a hotel, just with no luxuries, at all. There we get to do some tourism stuff to get it out of our systems, get to know each other, learn the rules/laws, get over jetlag, and just chill for a bit. I won't have my laptop with me while I'm in Amsterdam, so I won't be posting to contacting for that week. After that week, my family comes and picks me up, we go home, and life starts! It's so so close, and I'm just sort of living in a dream land of undecided emotions. I love everyone who has supported me, who loves me, and who have spent time listening to me. I appreciate you all! Until next time, geode reis!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Ganesh's Flight.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Stary Eyes, the beginning.
I've been writing these little stories about creatures that live in a place that shows how I wish life could be, and how easy life is for them. They're just for fun, and my friend said it'd be a good idea to follow up every blog update with a story. They make me happy, so perhaps they'll keep my spirits up the entire journey. Thanks for reading them!
There was once a town where human and animals lived together. They were all equal. They only ate banana slug soup. They all had eyes the color of the stars that no mortal could look at without burning their eyes out themselves. If you were to make this one of these beings, they would take you to their mother star. She would take your blinded eyes and give you new star eyes that showed you the universe. Then you would be married into the town, to everyone as once. You would make love to everyone .They would love you. You all provided and protected each other. Nothin was good or bad, just how they were. ANd they were happy, if they knew the emotion.
There was once a town where human and animals lived together. They were all equal. They only ate banana slug soup. They all had eyes the color of the stars that no mortal could look at without burning their eyes out themselves. If you were to make this one of these beings, they would take you to their mother star. She would take your blinded eyes and give you new star eyes that showed you the universe. Then you would be married into the town, to everyone as once. You would make love to everyone .They would love you. You all provided and protected each other. Nothin was good or bad, just how they were. ANd they were happy, if they knew the emotion.
One week left.
Well, after months of talking about and planning this all, it's almost here. Moving to Holland came quicker than I had thought.
I'm at the point where I am starting to say, "this is the last time I....", to almost everything. When I think of it all I have emotional conflicts between being incredibly excited to take off on this adventure, between being sad and scared of leaving everyone and everything I know behind.
As the days wind down, I'm realizing that there's so many little things that I'm going to miss that I don't really see when it's not being left behind.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful and excited for this whole entire thing, beyond excited. It's just having nothing familiar that's going to be hard for me.
I feel that this past year I've created relationships that I've never had before, as well as over come some bring stuff holding me back. As all that has happened I feel that it makes leaving both harder, and easier.
Harder in the way that I have built up so much more to leave. Easier being that I have almost equipped myself with valuable things for the adventure.
At the end of the day, I just understand how much I appreciate everyone that has been in my life. Good or bad, I did things I wanted to in the moment, that made me and the people around me happy. And for that I am very grateful. So as I take off to see the world, please come with me and follow everything that happens. Thanks so much for everyone's love and support, I'll be needing as much as I can get.
I'm at the point where I am starting to say, "this is the last time I....", to almost everything. When I think of it all I have emotional conflicts between being incredibly excited to take off on this adventure, between being sad and scared of leaving everyone and everything I know behind.
As the days wind down, I'm realizing that there's so many little things that I'm going to miss that I don't really see when it's not being left behind.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful and excited for this whole entire thing, beyond excited. It's just having nothing familiar that's going to be hard for me.
I feel that this past year I've created relationships that I've never had before, as well as over come some bring stuff holding me back. As all that has happened I feel that it makes leaving both harder, and easier.
Harder in the way that I have built up so much more to leave. Easier being that I have almost equipped myself with valuable things for the adventure.
At the end of the day, I just understand how much I appreciate everyone that has been in my life. Good or bad, I did things I wanted to in the moment, that made me and the people around me happy. And for that I am very grateful. So as I take off to see the world, please come with me and follow everything that happens. Thanks so much for everyone's love and support, I'll be needing as much as I can get.
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